


On The Road Again: A Fan Rediscovers Supernatural

by Polly_Phemus (orphan_account)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Criticism, Diary/Journal, Meta, Nonfiction, Slash Goggles, Work In Progress, appreciation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-24
Updated: 2017-07-17
Packaged: 2018-11-12 18:58:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11168058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Polly_Phemus
Summary: I was re-watching "Supernatural" from the beginning and taking notes as I go.  These were those notes.  I'd intended to continue until there were no more episodes, but I'm discontinuing the project.  Thanks to those who read and left kudos!





	1. "Pilot" to "Bloody Mary"

"Carry on My Wayward Fan"

I didn't start watching "Supernatural" until just before the fourth season started. Then I stopped watching at the end of the seventh season, not because of disenchantment with the show but rather because of boring real life reasons. I kept reading fanfiction and checking in with SPN Kinkmeme from time to time. Recently, I saw a couple of prompts I really liked, one in RPF and the other for the show itself. My response to the RPF one has ballooned out of control (BDSM AU; it's a series I'm working on called "Dom down the Hall") and the other was short and not particularly sweet ("Two Birds, One Stone"). 

I realized that I want to write more "Supernatural" stories (especially but not limited to a sequel to "Two Birds, One Stone") but I really couldn't do that without catching up on canon. Then I figured what the heck, why not start from the beginning? And, to really do it up right, I'll have to take notes so why not post those notes? Then I thought that there are a million reasons why it might not be the greatest idea in the world to post meta about any show or book or movie...but there's one big reason that knocks the million into a cocked hat: I love this show in all its problematic, messy glory.

So I'll be watching the show and posting my notes, including, for some episodes, notes at the beginning that are about my memories of what an episode was like. Plot bunnies may appear (any fully realized stories will be posted as separate works). For each episode, I'm listing its original airdate and my "re-watched" date, but as I wrote above, I wouldn't have seen any episode prior to season four on its initial airing. I'm putting those dates up for general reference; I can't remember when I specifically watched each episode. 

So that's my Road So Far.

"Pilot"

Aired: September 13, 2005  
Re-watched: June 11, 2017

Right out of the gate, this shit is tight. The pacing, the music, the story...nailed it. Even the special effects mostly hold up well. Sam has aged physically quite a bit since then, hasn't he? While Dean also looks younger to me, the difference is more striking with Sam. I suppose there's something in there about how Dean either matured early (thanks to becoming a surrogate parent so young) or hasn't matured the same way Sam has. Or maybe Jensen Ackles is more diligent about moisturizing. Jared Padalecki's acting has gotten a lot better. Not that he's crap here or anything, but looking at this performance I could never have guessed what he, and just as importantly the writers and directors, were going to do with his character. He's kind of...unformed. 

"House rules: Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cakehole." I wonder if that's the most quoted line from the show? My sister and sister-in-law use it at the start of roadtrips, and I don't think either of them has seen more than a couple of episodes. It's no "I'm the one who gripped you tight and raised you from Perdition" (more on that later when I get to that episode), but it's also more applicable to every day life.

Dean makes a rape joke and, a couple of scenes later, Sam gets sexually assaulted. Welcome to "Supernatural"; don't say we didn't warn you.

John's journal will never not be a thing of wonder. [ETA June 21, 2017: I just found out that there's a replica available; I might get it, but it looks so clean. I'd have to get out some bicycle chains and potting soil have to give it a more authentic look. Maybe get someone to spill some cheap whisky on it.]

The sun hits Constance's husband's head hard but his hat brim shadows his eyes so strongly that for a moment I thought he was a black-eyed demon. I don't remember when those started showing up, but I knew it wasn't this episode. It's a collage of memories!

"No chick flick moments." I was doing my nails and nearly ruined the job, I started laughing so hard. TV Tropes calls this "hilarious in hindsight." I have a feeling this is not the last time this will happen.

I remember Sam's hair as being quite a bit stupider than what I'm seeing here. Must've grown out a bit at some point, or perhaps I have him confused with someone else. 

When I first watched this, I remember being all, "Man, this show is awesomesauce [it was 2008]; why haven't I watched it before now?" Now I'm all, "This show is awesome AF; why did it take me so long to get back to it?" 

"We've got work to do." Me, too, fellas, with 264 episodes completed and another twenty-four coming out starting in just a few months.

"Wendigo" 

Aired: September 20, 2005  
Re-watched: June 16, 2017

When I first watched this episode, I had just finished an epic wait for medical test results. When I saw the words "Guest Starring Callum Keith Rennie" come up, I thought, "Next to 'your test results are negative,' this is the best five word phrase I will encounter all week."

I also remember being supremely disappointed. CKR was in the show for like ten minutes in what amounted to a throwaway role. He turned out to be most notable for being the first Cylon on the show. I can think of at least three others off the top of my head, and I will be on Cylon watch for the duration. Tricia Helfer will be up in just a few episodes, I think.

From what I remember, the episode, in general, seemed like it was kind of blah. However, just a couple of weeks ago, I caught part of it while I was channel flipping and thought, "Hey, this is better than I remembered." 

And that held true when I sat down to watch it all the way through. It's amazing, in retrospect, how much this episode does in terms of establishing character and motivation as well as continuing on with the look and feel of the pilot (they could've called the show "The Dimly Lit Adventures of the Winchester Brothers" and no one would've known the difference). Plus there are some lines that are pretty striking in retrospect. 

Now...to the notebook:

Dean's idea of "provisions," as expressed to Haley: a bag of M&Ms and an eyebrow waggle that suggests condoms are also on his person should the need...arise. Before too long, Dean's idea of "provisions" will switch over to Jack Daniels (or, more likely, Old Crow).

Roy, with sarcasm, upon being cautioned by Sam: "That's sweet. Don't worry about me." His chances of surviving this episode dropped from 15% to zero in that moment.

Ratcheting up the tension through bitchy line delivery the "Supernatural" way (this was in reaction to Roy and Sam both saying lines that, in words alone, seemed to be about general frustration expressed in ways that were oddly hostile to the people around them).

"Saving people, hunting things. The family business." That clip was then used in pretty much every "previously on" recap for the rest of the first season, that much I do remember.

Dean, speaking of what happens to those who commit cannibalism: "Over the years, you become this less than human thing. Always hungry." Oh, Dean. Or should I say, "Oh, Deanmon"?

And then comes the moment when everyone realized that bruised and bloodied is a good look for Dean Winchester; please see any given "SPN and Other Character Prompt Post" on the SPN Kinkmeme.

They lay it all out for us at the end of the episode, basically reinforcing what was already made pretty clear throughout the episode: Dean cares about finding John but wants to do it the way he thinks John wants them to. Sam cares about finding John because John might have information about Jessica's death and who he can lay the smackdown on for that; before Jess died, Sam didn't give a rat's ass about finding Mary's killer. Oh, Winchesters.

"Dead in the Water"  
Aired: September 27, 2005  
Re-watched: 06/18/2017

Another one I remembered thinking was kind of a dud. This time my memory is disappointingly accurate. The IMDB summary for it is literally half as long as any other season one episode, that's how inspiring it is. Gets the job done, sure, but very little of note. Except....

Oh, hi, Sam's stupid haircut. Did you ever look good? Is this a 2005 thing? 

"Lucas is scared." Yeah, well, Polly is bored. What's your point?

"You can't bury the truth, Jake." Oh, Dean. "Nothing stays buried." Double "Oh, Dean."

Okay, in this tense stand-off with Sam, Dean, Jake and Andrea, Jensen looks a lot younger, to me, then he did in the first two episodes.

Much higher body count than "Wendigo" and, while ultimately not a total defeat for the Winchesters, shows that the stakes are pretty high even in a basic monster-of-the-week episode. And Sam's bitchface is really coming into its own.

"Phantom Traveler"  
Airdate: October 4, 2005  
Re-watched: June 20, 2017

I didn't remember much about this episode other than that Dean is terrified of flying. How did he learn this about himself? Or is it just a "people-made objects don't belong in the sky and neither do people in general" thing? The Winchesters don't strike me as frequent flyers, even when US airport security was ludicrously lax.

I'm not sure why I had such a negative reaction to "Dead in the Water" and a positive reaction to this one. "Phantom Traveler" just seems like a better, more engaging episode. Probably because this is when we get the first black-eyed demon and this seemingly random monster of the week actually knows something about Jessica and what's been going on with the Winchesters. If a show has a narrative arc, I tend to prefer the episodes that advance that in some way rather than just, well, treading water. Now, the notes:

I literally wrote: BLACK EYED DEMON! YAY! in my notes. In caps. I don't know why I didn't underline as well.

United Britannia: because "Lost" hadn't given us Oceanic yet. (Actually, Oceanic has been used by a number of difference works over the years, some pre-dating "Lost." It's the Hudson University of air travel!)

Sam is almost non-sarcastic when he says, "Morning, sunshine" to Dean; not so much in a good mood, but more reflective rather than reflexively hostile. Of course, he had a craptastic night, so there's that. And I've got a story in the works about what happened between the last episode and this one. [ETA: "Resuming Routines" was finished and posted a couple of days after I wrote that.]

Dean lies that he's not afraid. So much lying, Winchesters. So. Much. Lying.

Sam's pretty mean about Dean's device. I don't see Sam whipping out one he bought at Sharper Image. And Dean looks chagrined because Sam's good opinion matters to him _so hard_. An emotional dynamic Sam could totally exploit for sexual gain...and, in my fiction, totally will. [ETA: make that "does;" see the series "What Is Owed and Can Never Be Repaid."]

On "Supernatural," the number forty means death because "forty days" is all over the Bible. Actually, "forty days [and forty nights]" mostly just means "more than a few days but less than a full season." It's Bible for "oh you know, a _while_." Is there such a thing as a literal license that can be applied to poetic license? I think so.

Amanda! Stay the hell away from Vince, no matter what occurs!

Nothing in that trunk will make it past security.

"Why do you think I drive everywhere, Sam?" See above re: security and contents of Baby's trunk. I don't imagine that hunters are big into flying in general, and if they do fly, they probably have people who keep stashes for them. Didn't that happen in a later episode? Or did I get that from an unrelated spy novel? Or both? Rediscovery is fun!

Speaking of, when did Sam get the chance to be blase about flying? Maybe Jess liked to travel. Now I want to read a story about the first time Sam flew and how Jessica was all, "That's just a little turbulence, it'll be fine."

So they decide that Dean, who's already shown to be awkward at talking to women and has had one disastrous conversation with Amanda in particular, and is also really nervous in general at this point, is the right person to talk to Amanda about the flight being in jeopardy? Nice one, Winchesters.

"Wide open to demonic possession" -- the Winchester family motto.

Here's one of those "as you know, Bob" conversations. No way did Sam just now happen across the Rituale Romanum in John's journal (which will one day be mine, or at least a replica thereof). No way is this new and fresh and exciting to Dean. Although it does make sense that Sam doesn't have it off the top of his head after so many years out of the life. (Around the time I started watching the show, I had a hole open on my class schedule and nearly filled it with Ecclesiastical Latin; I ended up taking a theological history class instead. It was a good class, but part of me wishes I'd gone with Latin.)

I'm picturing Sam trying to get Dean's device through security. "Sir, what does this device do? Could you boot it up for me? Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to step aside for a moment...." Also: was that really only three ounces of holy water? I can't remember how quickly they whip that up on the show. Maybe Sam stopped off in the men's room to sanctify some Poland Spring.

I liked this episode quite a bit. Mostly everyone got out alive after the Winchesters showed up (well done, lads) and now we have black-eyed demons and some sense that what happened to Jessica is part of a Larger Scheme.

"Bloody Mary"  
Aired: October 11, 2005  
Re-Watched: June 20-23, 2017

I remember this one as being a pretty good monster of the week episode. Somehow I forgot about all the eye scream, which is pretty cool. Now for my notes:

Sam's free and easy with Dean's cash. "Dude, I earned that money." I'll just bet you did, Dean.

"In a poker game!" So that's Dean's story this week.

[Two days in which I did Other Things]

Oh, so sad for Jill and Charlie that YouTube hadn't been invented yet; you just know Jill would've made a zillion room tours and I really would like to see Charlie's makeup tutorial.

"What'd you dream about?" Dean has to ask.

"Lollipops and candy canes." Oh, Sam, even your sarcasm is self-deprecating: you claim to have dreamt about things you suck at, like you think you sucked at protecting Jess. 

Of course there's a black light in the trunk and of course it's giant. I'm not the first to assume that the Impala is a TARDIS.

Oh, wow, suddenly this episode reminds me of _Between_ , a YA novel by Jessica Warman, which I've just spoiled for potential readers unless you don't remember this episode very well. Anyway, it's really quite good and maybe some people would enjoy it.

I love the Look Sam and Dean exchange when the retired cop pulls out the Mary Worthington file and says, "Technically, I'm not supposed to have a copy of this...." It's a look that says, "This guy? Is our kind of people."

Throughout this scene in the motel room with Charlie, Sam and Dean keep looking at each other, little checking-in glances like Scully and Mulder. Except when Charlie says, "I had this boyfriend. I loved him. But he kind of scared me, too, you know?" No Winchester eye contact on that one...a little too close to home, maybe?

I think Charlie would find "13 Reasons Why" to be a deeply troubling show.

"All right, you know what? That's it." Dean pulls over abruptly but inexplicably does not complete the line by saying, "I'm gonna fuck the guilt right outta you" and following through.

"Or, hell, why don't you take a swing at me?" Dean asks. Nah, that's not Sam's style. He'll just wait until you're back at the motel and then jerk off over you until he comes on your ass. The Polly_Phemus Way!

Wow, shooting with this many mirrors and flashlight-wielding actors must've taken some serious planning. Well done, show, your efforts paid off.

Sam, dude, a word? You know she doesn't go after the person who _said_ "Bloody Mary," right? She goes after the person who's carrying this most guilt. You really think you can beat Dean at that game? Or is that just my hindsight talking? I get a little jumbled sometimes.

Nope, they went in the direction of Dean trying to kill Sam's guilt. That's genuinely sweet and touching.

Oh, wow, I totally didn't see the literal and emotional Medusa moment coming (thought I probably should have). Nice.

"You're my brother. And I'd die for you." Oh, Winchesters. "But there are some things I need to keep to myself." Double "Oh, Winchesters."

This episode was so much...more than I remembered. While it doesn't do much to advance the arc, it nicely explores Sam's feelings and shows that the brothers are slowly re-establishing trust.


	2. "Skin" to "Scarecrow"

"Skin"  
Airdate: October 18, 2005  
Re-Watched: June 27, 2017

Memories: shapeshifters and sewers and Dean gets metaphorically boned like a trout in a long-term consequences kind of way.

To the steno pad!

"You still keep in touch with your college buddies?" Dean asks Sam this just a few weeks after Sam's rejoined him. Technically, Sam's not pre-Facebook (it was available to Stanford students starting in March, 2004) but the show sure is.

Dean claims not telling everyone the whole truth is synonymous with lying. This has got to be more to bust Sam's chops than anything else, what with Dean lying about everything all the time. So Dean's lying about lying. If a Winchester says, "All Winchesters are liars" does a tree make a sound when it falls in the forest? (Sometimes I get confused about how paradoxes and koans work.)

Directed, quite ably, by Robert Duncan McNeill. I remember when Tom Paris was the Designated Child Abuse Survivor in "Star Trek: Voyager" fanfiction. Also, he and Harry Kim got stuck in prison together. A _lot_.

Evil-detecting dog! If you see something, bark something.

5:30 in the morning? Maybe it seems that way to you, Dean, but it's awfully bright out for St. Louis at that time of day. Even if it were the summer solstice. Which it probably is not. What is in that coffee cup?

Have a firearm, Sam, as you get drawn back into the life, one concealed carry at a time.

Since the theme of this episode is Sam trying to straddle the line between The Life and just plain life, it makes sense that a vignette that illustrates this very tension is followed by a descent into the underworld. Underworld of sewers!

I like how pain is an irritating inconvenience to Dean. I need to cultivate that attitude toward migraines.

As they're each running through the streets, trying to catch the shapeshifter, Sam's all furtive, hiding his gun under his jacket. Dean Winchester don't give a fuck, waving his gun all over the place.

Fake Dean, telling Sam that you know Real Dean wants to "bang" Becky isn't exactly going to impress Sam with the level of insight you have into Dean's rich inner life.

I like the song they use in this episode ("Mary" by the Death Riders). All that stuff about "don't wanna be a full-time slave" and "don't wanna be a freak show pretty boy" and "Daddy's always watching." Doesn't "wanna be your midnight cowboy anymore." Nope, none of that..."I just wanna be Mary." There's gotta be a zillion Screwed Up Winchester fanfics based on this.

Shapeshifter's got serious character bleed. What's it feel like when the self-loathing abyss looks back at ya, pal?

"I'm right here with you all the way." And he will never carry that to ridiculous extremes.

Dean wishes he could've gone to his own funeral. I can't imagine that, from an official standpoint, Dean Winchester would've had much of a funeral (apparently he didn't even get an autopsy). The people who care about him, like Sam and the as-yet-unrevealed Bobby and Pastor Jim, know or will be told he's not really dead. I'm guessing the city of St. Louis dumped "Dean Winchester" in potter's field.

Really solid episode, gets Sam well and truly back in the life and gives us some character notes on Dean as well, in addition to an interesting monster.

"Hook Man"  
Airdate: October 25, 2005  
Re-watched: July 2, 2017

Memories: First monster-of-the-week episode that drew on a recent urban legend I was long familiar with (Wendigo and shapeshifter legends have been around a long time, I'd only vaguely heard White Ladies, and Bloody Mary was someone/thing that slid past my life entirely). Something about a Preacher's Kid? And the title made me think Things, so I wrote "Such Patient Beauty," which has absolutely nothing to do with this (or any other) episode, although it was based on a scene I was honored to observe. 

To the steno pad!

The hook drags across a sign. Rich asks, "What was that?" Freddy Krueger's lawyers, kid.

Sam's using a _payphone_! Remember them?

Netflix's CC isn't really very good on this show.

Lori's a PK! The things my memory gloms onto are really strange.

In this episode, Dean's just gross about women when none are around, rather than toward them directly. Progress!

Just yesterday I read that "Supernatural" fans are called "saltgunners;" since I'm not really a joiner, it was a term I was unfamiliar with. And here we have our first salt guns!

"A man of religion who openly preaches against immorality." While I liked this episode quite a bit, a part of me wants to see an episode about a man of religion who openly preaches for immorality." 

Dean tells Sam to stay out of Lori's underwear drawer because he's not yet comfortable enough to say, "Hey, when you're checking her underwear drawer for stray bracelets, grab me a pair, willya?"

They managed to get through melting down all that silver without a single Paul Revere reference. Well done, Winchesters!

Overall, a really solid monster-of-the-week episode, nicely twisty and entertaining. Didn't do anything to advance the narrative arc but who cares?

"Bugs"  
Airdate: November 8, 2005  
Re-watched: July 2, 2017

Memories: Bugs and lots of them and really, really dull. Also, the first time Sam and Dean get mistaken for a gay couple (on the show). That was actually considered kind of edgy in 2005. I do not have high hopes for this one, although I do have a lampshade that needs decoupaging, so if it really is that bad, I've got something to do with my hands.

To the steno pad!

"His brain disintegrated in an hour, maybe less." So he had time to order and eat a pizza and for Lenscrafters to make him a new pair of glasses. Sweet!

Here's the Mistaken for Gay moment. Larry seems kind of disappointed that they're brothers allegedly looking for a place for their dad. "Oh, seniors, too," he says wistfully. If he knew that their dad is Jeffrey Dean Morgan, he'd be all, "Oh, seniors _especially_!"

Larry is not a "Battlestar Galactica" alum...but he was on "Caprica." His wife, seen all too briefly, is Anne-Marie (Loder) DeLuise: Stella Kowalski from "due South." It's my understanding that 2005 was a pretty bad year for Canadian actor employment; it's nice they were getting work but too bad they ended up being underused.

Oh! A second Mistaken for Gay moment and this time Dean plays into it. So very daring, 2005!

Sam anticipates the "It gets better" campaign, but here it's about father-son relationships in general, not about LGBT youth bullying. Also, Sam Winchester telling anyone "it gets better" about anything, ever, will never not be a huge, huge lie.

Oasis Park sure cheaped out on safety glass to enclose their fancy steam showers. She's about 110, literally soaking wet, and it broke under her lack of bulk.

Okay, so here's some character development as the show turns into "The Smothers Brothers Horror Hour."

Oh, hi, Jim Byrnes, utterly wasted in a three-minute role. He's Joe Dawson and an excellent blues musician and gets like three lines of dialogue in this episode. (Not Canadian, but does a lot of work out of Vancouver, like "Wiseguy" and "Highlander.")

Joe Whitetree immediately calls Dean out for being a lying liar who lies in every word. Yet he thinks Sam is honest. In baseball, .500 would be an outstanding batting average, but the rest of the world calls it 50% and it's an F.

We get a date for when this episode takes place: near the spring equinox. So it's been about six months since Jessica died, okay, I can roll with that. But when was "Hook Man"? It must've been before Lent (going by Reverend Sorenson's vestments), which in 2006 started on March 1, so basically they seem to be getting an average of about one adventure that's worth filming per month. What happens in the downtime? Things!

Aaand...I have officially given this waaay too much thought.

So, yeah, this was pretty much as dull as I remember, although there was the bonus of playing Spot the Vancouver Based Actor and some brotherly bickering and Sam struggling to come to the realization that it's not all about him (except that, of course, it actually _is_ all about him).

"Home"  
Airdate: November 15, 2005  
Re-watched: July 8, 2017

Memories: I remember that this was a really good episode, that possibly someone's hand had an unfortunate run-in with a garbage disposal and that the always-awesome Loretta Devine played Missouri Moseley. She played River Phoenix's principal "Little Nikita" (1988); said principal also got to make time with Sidney Poitier's character. It's on my mind because I just re-watched it a couple of weeks ago. It was pretty good; a Soviet sleeper agent movie that had strong acting, good characters and an interesting plot but was unfortunately shot kind of like a 1980s TV movie even though it was a theatrical release which detracted from it.

To the steno pad!

Jensen Ackles has also grown as an actor. It's fun, watching them get better at their craft. Sam's hair is slightly less unfortunate in this episode; must've stopped off at the Wash & Brush Up, Co. 

Monkeys with cymbals...why do people even buy them? Stephen King, "Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders"...their horrors are well known and their appeal is zero yet Jenny has one in her house. Gift from a relative who doesn't follow pop-culture?

I was not mistaken about the garbage disposal. I usually don't find horror to be all that horrifying, but this episode is, in addition to adding massively to Character History and Development and Show Mythology, basically about all the ways your house can kill you. And that is terrifying. 

Phone book! Attached to a payphone! I like that one of the psychics is El Devino, given that the actual psychic is played by L. Divine.

Missouri thinks Dean was a goofy looking kid. Maybe it was just the brick-print pants that made it seem that way.

That wallpaper is 90% of the problem right there.

I always thought of this episode in termso of the boys confronting their past and getting to see Mary and Big Narrative Arc terms. But in monster-of-the-week terms, it's also about how your house can, and will, kill you. 

Dean gets belittled a _lot_ in this episode. Sam thinks it's hilarious. "I never realized you were the one who, at the age of four, literally carried me out of a burning building...now I'm going to laugh at you while Missouri calls you a dumb-ass."

Samantha Smith is so incredibly beautiful and awesome (and playful in the "Shake It Off" video, too). It's too bad she couldn't play Younger Mary (for obvious reasons), but I seem to recall that the actor who took on that role was no slouch in either the looks or skills departments. But that's not for awhile yet.

"John Winchester, I could just slap you." John probably hears that frequently, and nearly as frequently the sentiment is carried out in deed as well as word. "Why won't you talk to your children?"

Oh, Missouri, why would he start now?

"Asylum"  
Airdate: November 22, 2005  
Re-watched: July 10, 2017

What I remember: that I liked this episode, it was pretty slashy and their were also Daddy Issues galore (although John wasn't in the episode?), to the extent that I can't remember if the subtext was Sam/Dean, John/Dean, John/Sam or the Wincest Trifecta. And they were in a haunted insane asylum. So "Home" turned out to be a dangerous place and "Asylum" didn't really provide any: two very mean titles in the best possible way.

To the steno pad!

Wow. There's some...wow...the...okay...so. Wow. The subtext is John/Dean, Sam's "daddy's little soldier" interpretation of Dean's character stated pretty much on those words. And the hostility toward Dean expressed emotionally and physically doesn't make it too hard to imagine that it could also be expressed sexually...and what is Sam repressing besides rage?

Specifics: "[Dad]'s not dead! He's just resting!" Or maybe he fell on pie?

Sam reads _Men's Health_...for the articles! Only in waiting rooms!

Dean's intellectual pool of reference varies wildly, not just from episode to episode but within the episode itself. Has never heard of method acting, but knows an awful lot about Jack Nicholson. Right. I do remember something specific from a later episode: " _Slaguhter-House Five_ Vonnegut or _Cat's Cradle_ Vonnegut. I choose to believe that when he's playing dumb, he's actually playing (in another sense) Sam. 

I would love to have seen more of Sam's visit with the younger Ellicott. Just before I re-watched this episode, having totally forgotten this specific part of it, I was mentioning to my mother, who doesn't watch the show, the degree to which characters on the show self-medicate with alcohol. (In response to seeing a YouTube unboxing of a multi-fandom subscription box which included a "Supernatural" candle that claimed to smell like "pie, bourbon and hellfire.") I was saying how the characters can't exactly address their really quite staggering mental health issues through traditional means. Now Sam has that chance. Obviously they couldn't have included what he actually said about Dean in the episode, so now I have to look for a fanfic missing scene.

"It's like we're _in_ a movie!" And Gavin is a lousy director, creating his own pointless, fake-out jump scare (my overall impression of "Supernatural" is that, given how much of it there is and its very nature as a show, they do that fairly rarely, except in "Yellow Fever," where it was used a lot and fit in perfectly with that episode's plot...as I'll be reminded when I get to it in along about Boxing Day).

It must be really hard for hunters who work in pairs or groups to know when to split up and when they're better of sticking together. Now I want to write a Weechesters story in which Sam and Dean spiral into analysis paralysis on this issue. [ETA: [done](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11570604)]

Sam's pretty casual about sexual molestation by ghosts. "Could've been worse." Calls back to his own relatively chill response to the attempted assault he experienced in the pilot. How often does that shit happen to a hunter?

What are they going to do? "For starters, we're not going to panic." Gavin, quite reasonably, asks, "Why the hell not?"

My notes trailed off there as the issues started coming through thick and fast. The only other note in my steno pad is: "I like the sound design on this one especially."

Actually, I like the everything on this one especially.

"Scarecrow"  
Aidate: January 10, 2006  
Re-watched: July 17, 2017

I don't remember this one much at all. I didn't even remember that the lead-in was a call from John. At the time I first watched the show, I was trying to get through three seasons in two weeks, in time for the season four premiere. I remember looking around online to see which episodes were must-watch in order to understand the narrative arc that led to Dean ending up in hell. And so I skipped a few of them; despite the John connection, this might have been one of them. Unless it's the one where they split up. I know I watched that.

To the steno pad!

Telling phone call from John in so many ways. Dean wants to talk to John so much, but inasmuch as he cares who he talks to, John wants to concentrate on cultivating Sam, who's the prodigal returned to the fold. Plus, they've suffered similar losses; Dean's not in the Wife/Serious Girlfriend Got Fridged Loop. Dean just doesn't understand their pain. It's a moment John and Sam _need_ to have as opposed to the one Dean _wants_ to have...which is born out in that Dean gets the phone the minute John starts issuing orders and his Big Emotional Exchange with John is, "Yes, sir" and, "Let me get a pen so I can write down the specifics of what you want me to do."

We have a timeline! Second week of April and it obviously picks up right after "Asylum" left off.

And...things go south between Sam and Dean awfully fast following John's phone call. John's a genius at interpersonal relationships.

Dean orders pie, but it's just a drill since he never receives said pie. Scotty serves the murkiest Tang in town.

I like how they shot the restaurant scene: Dean's trying to warn Nice Young Couple against danger, but is literally framed like a Creepy Guy. Nice use of camerawork and editing to show what an uphill battle preemptively Saving People can be.

Okay, so while they're having a massive personal conflict that ended with Sam choosing the open road in the middle of nowhere over staying one more minute with Dean (and Dean not pushing him to take a ride to somewhere less nowhere), they can still set it aside for a phone consult.

"Just ask," Sam says. "So I can kick you in the teeth," he doesn't add, because that would interfere with the chick-flick moment that immediately follows.

"I'm proud of you," Dean says, getting to vocalize what Sam instead shows through the facial expressions Dean can't see and vocal tone he can at least hear: self-awareness as well as each having better understanding of his brother's personality. "Now, go see if you can get some strange with that incredibly convenient coincidence of a fellow traveler you've run into," Dean does not add.

 

And nicest of all: "Call me when you find Dad." Not "if" but "when."

William B. Davis joins the Vancouver Based Actor Employment program. He seems to be having fun not being an asshole. Or at least playing someone pretending not to be an asshole.

"Wasn't this area settled by immigrants?" I'm sure there are still Native Americans living in Indiana, but Dean hasn't exactly run into any on this trip, so who else has he been talking to for the last couple of days?

Of course Dean has to try to reason with the ones who've chosen to stay in Omelas; gotta try everything and never give up. But these are people who embrace modern conveniences while remaining in a strictly pre-Enlightenment mindset...he'd have better luck reasoning with the denizens on a red pill subreddit. 

"I'm your family," Emily says. "Sweetheart," Aunt Stacey says and I swear I thought the next line was gonna be, "but you got a D in business math, so it's not like we were pinning our hopes on you for anything else." 

"I hope your apple pie is freakin' worth it!" Dean says, still bitter that he'll never know for sure.

Sam stole a car...he's really getting back into the Winchester swing of things (I'm giving him a pass...for now...on consorting with demons since he had no idea (although maybe there was a deep-down affinity thing going on, I don't remember if that possibility got explored...it's fun to work off Incomplete Hindsight).

I have to wonder if the most important part of their auditions was when the casting director said, "Give me as many different 'oh, crap' expressions as you can. The most important part of any "Supernatural" audition process, actually.

They didn't just choose to stay in Omelas, they're defending it while heavily armed. And why does Emily have to die now that Sam is here? Sam and Dean are a nice young couple, but I guess since they can't be fertile with each other, it doesn't count. Damned heteronormative Vanir. At least here's plenty of fanfiction with more open-minded fertility deities. 

And Emily is the one who walks away (or take the bus away) from Omelas. I think she would've when she found out the truth even if she hadn't been personally endangered.

I think the Vanir plotline was kind of weak, but it was sure no "Bugs." As for advancing the larger character and narrative arcs: brotherly conflict escalating to physical distance resolving in semi-reconciliation was a bit rushed, but those were beats that they needed to hit and stretching it out too much would've gotten boring so on balance it worked out. And the physical separation was also necessary to get Meg into the story.


End file.
